Yesterday was a trying day.
Tim was visiting friends for lunch and felt faint. His family doctor has instructed him to go immediately to ER if he felt unusual before his surgery. (Today is admittance day.)
So we spent close to 8 hours hanging around the hospital..in the ironically named Rapid Assessment Zone. We do thank God for the staff and care he received and it's quite normal (? lol) for anyone with heart concerns to be kept for 6 hours for observation.
In the last hour or so of our time there, Tim's beautiful sister Kathie, who happens to be a nurse on staff there, and I "accidentally" bumped into one another on the elevator. It made my just having forked out another $12 for parking much more bearable! I hugged her so hard. It was such a relief to see a family member.
I keep thinking about the exact timing of meeting up with Kathie. I believe only God could have orchestrated that moment. If I had been one minute earlier or she had been one minute later, we wouldn't have seen one another. As it was, Kathie took the time before going on shift to come down and comfort Tim.
It was an emotional "present" to have her presence to comfort us.
Tomorrow's treasure is that both Kathie and Tim's brother Paul will be with us (and our daughter Keshia) as surgery happens.
Thank You, Lord, for the present of Presence...for all the love and prayers and support flowing our way and for Your Presence helping us through this Journey into Heartland!
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Optimism
Tonight I read a true story about a couple who traveled with their family in China.
While biking with their boys through a small village, they stumbled upon the shop of a 90 year old herbalist. The wife had insomnia and the husband had low energy. The elderly doctor gave them each some tea. The wife thought for sure that it was the same tea but later found it was not. They both began to feel better within a few weeks.
For a long time, she thought it was a powerful placebo...if you believe, it will get better.
Is that a placebo or is that a thing called faith?
A thing called optimism?
A short while later, I read a beautiful children's book my friend Kath gave me last year. It's Max Lucado's story, You Are Special. A village of wooden dolls gave each other stickers all the time. The beautiful and talented dolls got stars. The unusual or deformed or plain dolls got dots. One little fellow was covered in dots...so many that he gave up on himself.
One day he meets a beautiful doll who doesn't have any stickers. He asks her how that can be so. She tells him to go visit Eli, the Wood Carver who created all of them. Eli tells Punchinello that if he only cares about what Eli thinks of him, nothing else will stick to him that others put on him.
Optimism.
Acceptance.
Joy.
To have a Maker who believes in me helps me through the Journey into Heart Land.
While biking with their boys through a small village, they stumbled upon the shop of a 90 year old herbalist. The wife had insomnia and the husband had low energy. The elderly doctor gave them each some tea. The wife thought for sure that it was the same tea but later found it was not. They both began to feel better within a few weeks.
For a long time, she thought it was a powerful placebo...if you believe, it will get better.
Is that a placebo or is that a thing called faith?
A thing called optimism?
A short while later, I read a beautiful children's book my friend Kath gave me last year. It's Max Lucado's story, You Are Special. A village of wooden dolls gave each other stickers all the time. The beautiful and talented dolls got stars. The unusual or deformed or plain dolls got dots. One little fellow was covered in dots...so many that he gave up on himself.
One day he meets a beautiful doll who doesn't have any stickers. He asks her how that can be so. She tells him to go visit Eli, the Wood Carver who created all of them. Eli tells Punchinello that if he only cares about what Eli thinks of him, nothing else will stick to him that others put on him.
Optimism.
Acceptance.
Joy.
To have a Maker who believes in me helps me through the Journey into Heart Land.
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Presence
Last night, we enjoyed dinner with Tim's brother and his wife.
Paul and Joy shared some things we could expect post-surgery.
As the lovely evening ended, Paul said he will come over (they live on Vancouver Island) for Tim's surgery day.
Their sister already said she would hold my hand that day and hang out.
I felt a wonderful wave of peace and contentment knowing I will be with Tim's immediate family on that stressful day.
It made me think of Jesus.
God's Presence is comforting.
He is ever present.
He surrounds me with love.
Thank you for bringing Your presence through family, friends and prayer.
Paul and Joy shared some things we could expect post-surgery.
As the lovely evening ended, Paul said he will come over (they live on Vancouver Island) for Tim's surgery day.
Their sister already said she would hold my hand that day and hang out.
I felt a wonderful wave of peace and contentment knowing I will be with Tim's immediate family on that stressful day.
It made me think of Jesus.
God's Presence is comforting.
He is ever present.
He surrounds me with love.
Thank you for bringing Your presence through family, friends and prayer.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Clogged Arteries
I've had it on my mind...
Clogged arteries.
At first, I was thinking about it spiritually...
My spiritual heart getting all gunked up with worry, anxiety, lack of trust, fear, wrong attitudes, self-indulgence, sin in general.
But I couldn't find the words to write about it.
So I thought about another kind of clogged artery....Writer's Block. Afraid to write from the heart.
I don't want to exploit my husband in this blog. Basically it's my open journal. My safe place to talk from my heart. Hopefully someone will find a word of encouragement...know you are not alone...hang on to hope.
Sometimes my progress is paralyzed...clogged artery...can't get moving forward.
Then I thought back to the cancer journey over a decade ago now. In some ways, I have not moved forward from Tim's illness back then, despite the fact he is fine (as far as cancer is concerned) now. I used to be the Queen of Christmas. I had all my cards ready to mail by December 1. Presents were in the mail on time. I hardly write any cards and never seem to get them out on time. I am always late with gifts.
It's not a pity party. Just reflecting. Wondering...how now to unclog my arteries?
How to identify what is plugging up the system.
How to move forward.
One thing serious illness does..it confronts you with the question: How will you make the most of life now?
Life is precious. A gift. A treasure. An adventure. An opportunity.
A process.
Ah, that's it!
One pebble at a time.
Saying no to just one bacon bit more. lol
One day at a time.
I think the pressure on my heart just lifted a bit.
Cleaning...clearing...coping...
And hoping
For the best for all. <3
Clogged arteries.
At first, I was thinking about it spiritually...
My spiritual heart getting all gunked up with worry, anxiety, lack of trust, fear, wrong attitudes, self-indulgence, sin in general.
But I couldn't find the words to write about it.
So I thought about another kind of clogged artery....Writer's Block. Afraid to write from the heart.
I don't want to exploit my husband in this blog. Basically it's my open journal. My safe place to talk from my heart. Hopefully someone will find a word of encouragement...know you are not alone...hang on to hope.
Sometimes my progress is paralyzed...clogged artery...can't get moving forward.
Then I thought back to the cancer journey over a decade ago now. In some ways, I have not moved forward from Tim's illness back then, despite the fact he is fine (as far as cancer is concerned) now. I used to be the Queen of Christmas. I had all my cards ready to mail by December 1. Presents were in the mail on time. I hardly write any cards and never seem to get them out on time. I am always late with gifts.
It's not a pity party. Just reflecting. Wondering...how now to unclog my arteries?
How to identify what is plugging up the system.
How to move forward.
One thing serious illness does..it confronts you with the question: How will you make the most of life now?
Life is precious. A gift. A treasure. An adventure. An opportunity.
A process.
Ah, that's it!
One pebble at a time.
Saying no to just one bacon bit more. lol
One day at a time.
I think the pressure on my heart just lifted a bit.
Cleaning...clearing...coping...
And hoping
For the best for all. <3
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Eating Right...Eating, Right???
Oy vey.
I am 50 years old. I am a fat mama. Not a "phat" mama as they used to say--did anyone ever say those two words together? Did I just say something wrong? So uncool!
I am the heaviest weight I have ever been in my half century on earth. Fear keeps me frozen and fat...fear of failing. Silly, I know.
Now, the specter of heart disease looms large for my husband and I ignored our health.
So, what have I been thinking about???
Many things...changing to a healthy lifestyle...needed change, especially in eating habits.
I came home from work and sat on Keshia's bed (youngest daughter who lives with us) and had one of those sweet (and calorie-free!) mother-daughter talks.
Keshia had ordered a small pizza for lunch. She let me have the last two pieces. I commented that I am not supposed to eat this any more.
No more pizza. No more fried chicken. No more junk food.
My feast of 50 years is falling apart....but so am I!!
The funny thing was I shared the new things we need to eat with Keshia:
nuts..but I like those!
fruits and vegetables..but I like them!
fish three times a week...but I like that, too!
Not so bad! I like the new foods and they are good for me!
Now to convince Hubby who would not let me buy low-sodium ketchup today (we probably shouldn't be ingesting ketchup, either!)
On our drive to the grocery store, we were talking about an unrelated problem Tim is dealing with ... I said, "Well, you can't worry about that. You have bigger fish to fry.....Correction: you have bigger to fish to sautee!"
Flip that fish out of the frying pan, honey!
I am 50 years old. I am a fat mama. Not a "phat" mama as they used to say--did anyone ever say those two words together? Did I just say something wrong? So uncool!
I am the heaviest weight I have ever been in my half century on earth. Fear keeps me frozen and fat...fear of failing. Silly, I know.
Now, the specter of heart disease looms large for my husband and I ignored our health.
So, what have I been thinking about???
Many things...changing to a healthy lifestyle...needed change, especially in eating habits.
I came home from work and sat on Keshia's bed (youngest daughter who lives with us) and had one of those sweet (and calorie-free!) mother-daughter talks.
Keshia had ordered a small pizza for lunch. She let me have the last two pieces. I commented that I am not supposed to eat this any more.
No more pizza. No more fried chicken. No more junk food.
My feast of 50 years is falling apart....but so am I!!
The funny thing was I shared the new things we need to eat with Keshia:
nuts..but I like those!
fruits and vegetables..but I like them!
fish three times a week...but I like that, too!
Not so bad! I like the new foods and they are good for me!
Now to convince Hubby who would not let me buy low-sodium ketchup today (we probably shouldn't be ingesting ketchup, either!)
On our drive to the grocery store, we were talking about an unrelated problem Tim is dealing with ... I said, "Well, you can't worry about that. You have bigger fish to fry.....Correction: you have bigger to fish to sautee!"
Flip that fish out of the frying pan, honey!
Welcome
Welcome!
If you read my intro, I inadvertently forgot to mention I am not married to the beautiful BC Lion player in the photo! I am married to the love of my life. Tim and I celebrated 29 years of marriage on January 14, 2013. (Not in the same way at all, but I do love my BC Lions AND Vancouver Canucks!) :D
We have traveled far together...both literally and figuratively in all those years. We have lived in Nova Scotia, Ontario, Saskatchewan, Alberta and beautiful British Columbia (each province is beautiful, mind you!)
We have two beautiful healthy daughters who bring us great joy.
In October 1999, our happy little world fell apart when Tim was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. One week later (November), he had his thyroid removed and January to March 2000 saw him endure 34 external beam radiation treatments, along with a couple follow-up radioactive iodine treatments. 5 years later, we praise God he was declared cancer-free!
Over the past year, last summer especially, Tim noticed his energy plummeting. He was having a lot of joint pain, but being diabetic and a cancer survivor, he chalked it up to maybe arthritis coming on and old age. Grrr. He has always considered himself an old man. I am five and a half years younger and I can't stand that he thinks he is a senior citizen...well, now I guess he kind of is but he is too stubborn to ask for the discount at Denny's! :D
Last week, Tim had an angiogram and we thought it would be followed by angioplasty. Big surprise! Open heart surgery is the next chapter in our journey...our Journey into Heart Land.
If you read my intro, I inadvertently forgot to mention I am not married to the beautiful BC Lion player in the photo! I am married to the love of my life. Tim and I celebrated 29 years of marriage on January 14, 2013. (Not in the same way at all, but I do love my BC Lions AND Vancouver Canucks!) :D
We have traveled far together...both literally and figuratively in all those years. We have lived in Nova Scotia, Ontario, Saskatchewan, Alberta and beautiful British Columbia (each province is beautiful, mind you!)
We have two beautiful healthy daughters who bring us great joy.
In October 1999, our happy little world fell apart when Tim was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. One week later (November), he had his thyroid removed and January to March 2000 saw him endure 34 external beam radiation treatments, along with a couple follow-up radioactive iodine treatments. 5 years later, we praise God he was declared cancer-free!
Over the past year, last summer especially, Tim noticed his energy plummeting. He was having a lot of joint pain, but being diabetic and a cancer survivor, he chalked it up to maybe arthritis coming on and old age. Grrr. He has always considered himself an old man. I am five and a half years younger and I can't stand that he thinks he is a senior citizen...well, now I guess he kind of is but he is too stubborn to ask for the discount at Denny's! :D
Last week, Tim had an angiogram and we thought it would be followed by angioplasty. Big surprise! Open heart surgery is the next chapter in our journey...our Journey into Heart Land.
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